For the ancient Mesopotamians, marriage was important to ensure the continuation of the lineage and thus the stability of the society. In fact, the historian Herodotus says that marriage is so important for this cultural structure that he even says that marriage was commercialized for this cause. For example, Herodotus speaks of “bridal auction markets” in Mesopotamia where women were sold to the highest bidder.
Although love has always existed in these lands, it remained in the background next to the purpose-oriented marriages made to protect the social order. So why were these people making prenuptial contracts?
Even sexuality was used for a certain ‘interest’ beyond pleasure.
Herodotus speaks of women sitting in Inanna’s temple having sex with a man passing by, to their liking. The reason for this was that the social structure expected people to engage in activities that would increase the fertility and welfare of the society, namely to have children.
The marriage was carried out on a legal contract based on the material exchange between the woman’s father and the groom.
In Mesopotamia, the groom paid bride price to the bride’s father, as is still the case in some cultures. In other words, we can say that because marriage was perceived as a ‘job’ in these cultures, money was at the forefront.
Stephen Bertman, who has studies of ancient cultures, says: In Sumerian, the word love was a compound verb with a tangible equivalent for measuring earth and land. Among the Sumerians, Babylonians, and Assyrians, marriage was seen as a business arrangement designed to secure both individual and society. The state cared not for people to establish relationships and be happy, but only for their reproduction and the continuity of culture, as I mentioned above.
Let’s say there are two people who love each other and they want to get married, then they have to abide by the contract or it would not be possible for them to get married. For example, there was a law in Mesopotamian law that a man had to prepare a marriage contract (contract) and the families of both parties had to give their consent. Otherwise, the woman cannot be the wife of the man who wants her, because this is against the law.
Just like in today’s marriages, people would sign this contract (you can think of it like a wedding certificate now) in the presence of people who would witness their marriage, and the wedding preparations would begin. After the wedding, the bride moved to her father-in-law’s house, had intercourse with the groom, and was expected to become pregnant. Moreover, attention was paid to the fact that the bride was a virgin. Legally, if the bride did not become pregnant or virgin, the groom had the right to send the woman back to his family and demand the dowry money he had given.
In ancient Mesopotamia, disloyalty meant punishment.
Men who were unfaithful to their wives were subject to a variety of punishments, including the death penalty if their crimes were discovered, as historian Jean Bottero puts it. The essence of the word; I can say that any kind of behavior that will harm family unity is not accepted in this culture.
According to researchers, ancient inscriptions report that women ran away from their husbands to sleep with other men. If these people are caught red-handed; The woman is thrown into the river with her lover so that she dies by drowning or is killed by hanging on a pole. In any case, the law deemed it appropriate to either execute or pardon those who committed this act, which, according to the Code of Hammurabi, could only enter into force with the forgiveness of the woman’s official husband. Thus, the king can forgive the woman and her lover, according to the decision of the husband.
In fact, it was so important for a woman to give birth to a child that if she could not get pregnant due to infertility or any other reason, her husband could take a second woman for himself. The first wife was consulted in the selection of the second wife, and the second woman they chose was expected to follow the order of the first woman. When you look at it, you can understand that the second wife is like the concubine of the first. Because the child that this woman will give birth to was considered the child of the first woman. Since a man’s desire to get a divorce because his wife could not get pregnant was not accepted by the society, such a solution was found. The man had to stay married to that woman until he died and on the one hand, he had to ensure the continuation of his lineage with the concubines he brought home.
Divorce is still a taboo for most people today. It was the same in ancient Mesopotamia!
We can say that divorce was a serious cause of social stigma in these lands. Even though most people were not happy with their marriage, they had to be with their partner until the grave. The demand and right to divorce was reserved primarily for men. Women could only benefit from this right when they were abused. In any case, female individuals could not easily express their desire for divorce because her husband could kick her out of the house.
In fact, I think that in the past, women may have swallowed the desire for divorce because of the fear of being disgraced in front of the society. In short, as you can see, behind all these rules that are valid in marriage lies a contract (contract) that both parties start as if they are starting a contracted business, both materially and morally. Thus, I can say that marriage turns into a ritual performed not for individual but for social purposes. How did you find the Ancient Mesopotamians’ perspective on marriage? Do you think we can find traces of today? You can write your thoughts in the comments.
Sources: World History, Traveling in a Minute, Swallow’s Nest
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